Why can’t Americans more often talk to each other in a nice way?

Jay Jackson – an attorney, a member of the U.S. Military, a husband and father, and more than a little concerned about many aspects of current life in this nation – attempts to answer this question in his recent book, ‘Decent Discourse: Saving Your County by Loving Your (wrong?) Neighbor’. As the keynote speaker for the Omaha Bar Association on Law Day, and as can be guessed from the title of his book, he’s not real keen on the state of the nation’s political dialogue.

“It doesn’t seem great, does it?” he responded when asked. “We’ve always had a bit of sass in our public discourse — our founding fathers were not above a good personal attack, and their newspapers were right there with them.”

What seems different now is that our nation is in what he termed “the midst of a loneliness and mental health crisis, and in the era of social media and 24-hour news.” Adding that “it seems especially bad right now.”

Jackson continued, “As Barack Obama put it, our media diets are ‘turbocharging some of humanity’s worse impulses.’”

The South Florida native brings a wealth of experience to his address and the city he now calls home. He attended what is now the Antonin Scalia Law School at George Mason University in Arlington, Virginia, and earned a Master of Laws in International Law from George Washington University in Washington, DC.

Before settling down in Nebraska, Jackson served on active duty in the U.S. Air Force for 14 years, deploying to the Middle East six times and spending three years at Joint Special Operations Command. He continues to serve as a lieutenant colonel in the Air Force Reserve and write on matters concerning international law and national security.

 When working in the D.C. area and attending law school at night, Jackson began to look for something with a greater purpose than simply having a good career and making money.  He reported for officer training right after passing the bar.

“I absolutely loved it from Day One,” he recalled.

Jackson’s Air Force duties first took flight in the courtroom where he prosecuted and defended courts-martial for about six years before specializing in the law of armed conflict. The time away from his family led to a decision to transition from active duty to the reserves about three years ago.

He was won over by the team and culture of Kutak Rock and was fortunate enough to be hired in the summer of 2020, during the height of the pandemic. Jackson also found Omaha much to his liking, describing it as a mid-sized city that is affordable, especially when compared to what he was used to on the East Coast. The pace of life in Omaha is a good fit for the family, he noted.

 Jackson works in the firm’s public finance department and focuses on affordable multifamily housing: “Making me perhaps the only attorney in the world that sits in the middle of the national security/international law/public finance Venn diagram!”

That statement, with its wry touch of humor, gives you an idea of how he can approach the topic of his book and his address – which, may or may not share a title. But decency, he says, is the key.

“I truly believe that decency — expressed through humility, kindness, empathy, and adherence to objective truth — is key to solving many of our nation’s problems,” Jackson stated.  “During the Law Day lunch we’ll discuss how the Bar is the perfect group to spread this message in our institutions and communities.”

He acknowledges that the legal profession is not immune to the increasingly coarse dialogue.

“But I’m more focused on how our legal profession — our training and experience, and our steadfast connection to the rule of law — can make a positive impact on our national discourse,” Jackson emphasized.

While some pundits have suggested the United States is in a state of cold civil war, Jackson rejected that notion.

“Maybe it’s my military experience, but I especially loathe suggestions that we are ‘enemies’ or ‘at war’ with one another,” he said. “At the same time, it’s impossible to deny that there is at least some truth behind the expression, though I also think the severity is overblown by news cycles and social media algorithms fueled by outrage.”

Jackson added, “It’s funny to me that it can seem like a cold war online, but among my actual neighbors and folks in my community we certainly are much more focused on all we have in common.”

Then there are the culture wars, and Jackson suggested those might not all be solved during this one conversation. The term, “culture wars,” he suggested, was hard to define because for some people they are completely manufactured wedge-drivers while for others those issues are vitally important.

“So, I try not to dismiss any issue as silly or unimportant.” Jackson continues, “I think the key to discussing them . . . starts with a bit of empathy for the other side.”

Jackson first suggested viewing the “other” side’s position as charitably as we see our side and have the humility to understand these are often “incredibly complex” issues.

In Decent Discourse, an Amazon #1 release, he followed a model that starts with individual conversations with the people around us. Those conversations are the sort that lead to relationships that affect our communities in a positive way.

“I don’t think we should wait for someone in Lincoln or Washington, DC, to solve this for us,” he stated. 

Asked for directions from this point and a message for his Law Day audience, Jackson offered: “Our national problems are just as complex as we are.  In Decent Discourse, I identify five specific problems and solutions to those problems, with tangible steps to fix them.  But there are a few overarching themes.

“The first is relationships. I encourage people to dig deeper into real relationships with people who have different views than they do — while recognizing at the same time that our nation is experiencing a crisis of loneliness and many of us don’t have any friends at all! 

“It’s easy to dehumanize someone or misunderstand them if you don’t have a foundation of trust first, so that’s key.”

He suggested humility as the second big idea. “The idea that with all of these issues — I might be the one that’s wrong.”

Finally, he suggested that as we face a flood of information, people need to make commitment to avoid “junk food” media diets and confirmation bias.

“Attorneys and other legal professionals have specific training and experience in these areas and a great heritage of logic, civility, candor, and so much more,” Jackson enthused. 

Jay Jackson is an associate at Kutak Rock, distinguished author and Lieutenant Colonel in the Air Force Reserve. To purchase ‘Decent Discourse: Saving Your Country by Loving Your (wrong?) Neighbor’ visit: decentdiscourse.com/book.